from one lesbian to another who has gone through (& continues to go through, honestly) the rigamarole of confusion & shame & insecurity that comp-het creates... this is a beautiful piece. thank you <3
This is such a beautiful piece and resonated with me deeply especially with the things I’ve been experiencing and unpacking as of late after coming out in my (very conservative) work place. Thank you💗🧡🤍
been thinking a lot about comp-het lately + my own relationship to queerness and the terms we use for it...thank you so much for writing this, it's such a beautiful piece!
This resonated so deeply. Struggling with accepting being a lesbian, the shame, the way people treat you, how I've come to personally wield the word lesbian proudly despite not being out. It's a journey and I'm glad that you find joy in your existence and I'd like to believe the joy of being a lesbian makes our existence worthwhile ✨
And here I was thinking I wasn't valid enough because of *not* being attracted to butches enough... (Although I feel that changing as I become more secure in my own femininity). Seems we can't ever do it right...
One question though about your view of comphet: I surely experienced a completely different version of it, given I am a trans woman - I'd say instead of keeping me from questioning or finding my sexuality, the default of heterosexuality kept me from questioning my gender. "You must be a guy because you like women". Wouldn't that be a from of compulsory heterosexuality? Or would you say I'd co-opt that term?
(Also it led me to being sexual in a way I don't really like - wlw love feels sooo much different and more right to me)
that is such an interesting perspective that i didn’t consider!! as a cis woman, i definitely do not feel like it is my place to tell trans women what terms they can/cannot use. im feeling so grateful that you shared that experience with me and made me think about how people who identify differently than i do might interact with comphet!!!
Thank you for embracing my perspective. I always struggle between not wanting to impose and also not being erased. Having a different journey also makes it very interesting to hear from my cis sisters how they experienced their growing up.
from one lesbian to another who has gone through (& continues to go through, honestly) the rigamarole of confusion & shame & insecurity that comp-het creates... this is a beautiful piece. thank you <3
thank you for your kind words <3
you ate this one up, this article is literally what my lesbian roommate and i talk about on a daily basis. Thank you for this 🫶🏾
this means so much coming from someone whose work i admire so much!! thank you <3
thank you. really.
- a lesbian
This is such a beautiful piece and resonated with me deeply especially with the things I’ve been experiencing and unpacking as of late after coming out in my (very conservative) work place. Thank you💗🧡🤍
i am so so glad you resonated with this piece!! thank you for your kind words <333
been thinking a lot about comp-het lately + my own relationship to queerness and the terms we use for it...thank you so much for writing this, it's such a beautiful piece!
This resonated so deeply. Struggling with accepting being a lesbian, the shame, the way people treat you, how I've come to personally wield the word lesbian proudly despite not being out. It's a journey and I'm glad that you find joy in your existence and I'd like to believe the joy of being a lesbian makes our existence worthwhile ✨
thank you so much for sharing this with me <333
And here I was thinking I wasn't valid enough because of *not* being attracted to butches enough... (Although I feel that changing as I become more secure in my own femininity). Seems we can't ever do it right...
One question though about your view of comphet: I surely experienced a completely different version of it, given I am a trans woman - I'd say instead of keeping me from questioning or finding my sexuality, the default of heterosexuality kept me from questioning my gender. "You must be a guy because you like women". Wouldn't that be a from of compulsory heterosexuality? Or would you say I'd co-opt that term?
(Also it led me to being sexual in a way I don't really like - wlw love feels sooo much different and more right to me)
that is such an interesting perspective that i didn’t consider!! as a cis woman, i definitely do not feel like it is my place to tell trans women what terms they can/cannot use. im feeling so grateful that you shared that experience with me and made me think about how people who identify differently than i do might interact with comphet!!!
Thank you for embracing my perspective. I always struggle between not wanting to impose and also not being erased. Having a different journey also makes it very interesting to hear from my cis sisters how they experienced their growing up.